TheChunkyOne님의 저널

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2011년 03월 10일

So today will be my 4th day to go to the gym with no breaks and i'm definitley feelin the effects. My body is getting really tired. But one last day then a rest day, i can do this!! :)

The inlaws arrive this evening. (insert angry/annoyed face) I really wish i could get excited about seeimg them... but my FIL is SUCH a control freak, 100 times worse than my husband and he makes my anxiety flare up. My palms are sweating just thinking about it. My MIL isnt so bad, she just drinks alot, and talks too much... and actually treats my FIL like he is beneath her, especially when she drinks.. but thats a whole other issue. Good lord almighty, this is going to be a long weekend, PLUS its daylights savings time!?! I might be sick monday... *cough cough

On a postive note, i've been hitting my calorie goal of 1300ish without much effort or thought. That makes me happy. It kinda makes me wanna try eating 'freestyle', but i'm not sure i'm ready for that yet. I need the reassurance of seeing the numbers on paper (well a computer screen, whatever), it reminds me that i'm doing everything right.

Well thats enough rambling for one day. Happy Thursday buddies!


Edit** I'm getting more and more anxious by the minute and i am 2 seconds away from a hot fudge sundae and/or a bottle of tequila. HELP!!

2011년 03월 9일

2011년 03월 8일

Still feeling very blah. I've had a mild headache now for the 3rd day in a row and its got me a little concerned. I hardly ever get headaches. I did drink a lot of diet soda this weekend in efforts to distract myself from the food in the kitchen, so maybe thats causing it. I dont know.

My self esteem/confidence level is down really low, and i think that is also playing a huge part in why i feel so crappy. I had a minor issue with hubbs this weekend, and it left me feeling very unattractive. He's not very good at reminding me that he's attracted to me and it always makes me feel bad about myself. But that has made me realize that my image of myself depends entirely too much on what other people think of me. I need to be happy with myself regardless of what other people see, even if that other person is my husband.

I'm hoping to get out of this funk soon, the inlaws are coming (again) this weekend and being in a bad mood AND having to deal with them would make for a very miserable weekend.

and becuase it fits my mood today, here's a movie quote:

"I'm having a shitty day, I'm depressed. Tell me a funny joke."

Its from my all time favorite movie, any one know which one? I'll give you a hint; add a thick italian accent to that line.

2011년 03월 7일

2011년 03월 4일



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