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I've reach my first goal!!! I just wish I felt better about it.

Part of me realizes that I don't feel 100% this morning because I was up with my son last night a few times last night and I need some sleep (incidentally, he is exactly 7 months old today), but also given what the scale said earlier this week, I was actually expecting a larger drop.

**Begin Rant** On the other hand, is 254 really that big of a deal? I know I can't take a second step without the first, but I've been this weight before...lower actually, but at the end of the day, it's just a number on a scale. Don't get me wrong I feel head and shoulders better than I did four months ago. Heck, two months ago, but there is something missing. I have to think about working some resistance training into my day, but I don't see that happening until our basement is finished, at the earliest. Until then I guess it's just walking and recreational swimming. **End of Rant**

We are throwing a birthday party for my oldest this weekend, who turns 4 on Monday. That should throw me into better spirits leading into the weekend. That and a good night's sleep, that is.

Well I am checking in pretty much the same as I was last week. Just goes to show that 4 days of relatively clean living barely makes up for 3 days of "debauchery." Could be water weight. but I'm just happy it wasn't higher...

On that subject: My buddies and I had a great time on the Cape. We stayed in Hyannis and saw one game in Cotuit on Friday night, played 18 holes in 94 degree weather Saturday morning/Early Afternoon, and went out to Chatham for the Cape Code League All Star Game Saturday night. There was one player from UConn and we made our presence known for him. On an exercise note, I took over 20,000 steps that Day!!! Finally on Sunday we had a nice breakfast before getting into the crawling traffic going over the Bourne Bridge. Luckily, my GPS took me through Sandwich and Bourne on surface streets. The guys are now putting preliminary plans together for my 40th.

It was also my first interaction with Uber. That's a pretty nifty app.

In between all that, I tried to eat as cleanly as I could...mostly baked fish and veggies, but we ate out all weekend and even though the seafood was baked, there was a lot of oil. I also indulged in a baked potato and didn't really watch my liquid calories super close.

This weekend involves a B-day party for 4 year old twins (my son's party is next weekend) and a baby shower back up in Massachusetts. What it doesn't include are five 30 & 40-somethings reverting back 15 years. I'm aiming to break through my 1st goal by next week.

Down another couple pounds, but I'm not happy about it. I've gone off my plan quite a bit this past week, so I fear the loss is just water weight. While intake was < expenditure, I ate too many undocumented carbs. On the other hand, the scale would have never touched where it does now as recently as two weeks ago.

Another reason I was hoping for a larger loss is that I'm going away for the weekend with the guys and it is going to be a monumental task to resist the peer pressure. Not in a teenager, all-the-cool-kids-are-doing-it sort of way, but when the beer and booze starts flowing and food is ordered, my inhibitions are sure to lower and I just feel the urge to partake!! The key is to partake less than I used to.

One of my best friends and I are YUGE (with a capital "Y") baseball fans and for about 15 years we have been talking about getting out to Cape Cod, where there is an amateur league that extends invitations to some of the best college players in the country. 1 out of 6 Major Leaguers played ball on the Cape. He turned 40 a few months ago and his wife enlisted me to create sort of a subterfuge for her gift. So I planned a trip for us and 4 other buddies for the Cape League All-Star Game, golf, jokes, libation, and whatever-other-boys-will-be-boys-Tom Foolery-strikes-our-fancy (within the confines, of course, of marriage vows...for three of us...) for 2 1/2 days, sans wives and kids.

Here's my deal. I know I'm on a journey for a better self, and I'm not remotely close to where I want to be, let alone need to be. So throwing that all away for 3 days is just plain stupid. I will track as much as I can, knowing that we will be eating out a lot. I also plan on getting up a little earlier so I can either go for a morning walk or use the gym (We're bracing for another heat wave in the Northeast this weekend). We will also be playing golf, and while I expect we will be getting carts, I will walk much of the course. All things considered I think I'll be able to keep things moderately in check.

Down another 2 lbs. and I would have no problem recording more. I have an analog scale and the needle was below the 258 line. I could have reported 257, but I'll leave that "credit" for next week.

I had a couple of things working against me leading up to this morning's weigh in. I wasn't able to go for a walk yesterday, so I only took about 7,500 steps. No walk because I had to prepare my monthly financials for a Board meeting and we had to deal with an issue with with my oldest son. Then my wife and I had a meeting yesterday evening that pushed dinner off until after the kids were in bed. Surprisingly, my stress level wasn't too high by the time I went to bed, even without a baseball game or belt of scotch!!!

Yes we ate late, but I don't subscribe to the fasting-after-a-certain-time theory. It just makes me miserable and will affect my quality of sleep, which is worse for me. I don't think it's good to go to bed on a super full stomach, but eating an hour or so before bed is not the worst thing in the world...at least for me.

I had no intention of typing an entry tonight, but as I sit here perusing my Buddies' (and others') journals and one in particular caught my eye. I also have no intention of hijacking my buddies entry.

The question at hand was, is loss of willpower against cravings directly related to degree of tiredness? As the father of a 6 month old (as well as a near-4 y.o.), I'll be the first to answer absolutely yes, but then I went on typing on my own tangent.

Basically my thought is, if it's not in the house, it's more difficult to eat. On the other hand, the craving goes unsatisfied. I think a better way to cope is to figure out a way to work our cravings into our diet plan?

For instance, I've found that I cannot stick to a life strategy that forbids or restricts certain foods that I've eaten my entire life. I'm 1/2 Italian so you do the math. I've actually followed a low carb strategy in the past and it worked...except I could not stick with it and I gained the 35 lbs. back. Nothing whatsoever vs. the LCHF strategy and especially not vs. those who follow it. If it works for you, all the power to you. I'm jealous, truth be told, but will absolutely support your journey.

A fact of the matter is that (disregarding consequences) I could eat pizza for every meal and a lot of it. Obviously I am 260 (at the moment) for a reason. On the other hand, 2 slices in a week and/or in the same sitting is not the end of the world, as long as my calories are otherwise budgeted. Same goes for pasta.

I guess I was blessed, so to speak, in that I don't crave calorically dense sweets. My perfect desert is more entree. Another reason, among other things, I am 260...lack of portion control.

That said, I am at the whim of one of two strategies. 1) Substitution (which I think we can all agree that the sub never tastes or satiates quite like the original); or 2) Work it in.

By the way, there is nothing in the books that says I can't do both and it seems to be working for the moment. The key is to track intake and watch macros.