FullaBella님의 저널, 2019년 07월 25일

I’ve never read Thomas Wolfe’s “You Can’t Go Home Again” but if the theme is how I imagine it based on the title, I could have written it this past Sunday.

It all started with my dog was driving me crazy wanting to play ‘door’ all day. This game involves letting her in and out of the house to lay in the warm grass. Each round repeats every 15 to 30 minutes until sundown. I just wasn’t in the mood for it Sunday. Yep, my dog ran me off from my own home.

I drove over to check out Costco thinking I could kill time until sunset but there is no meandering, lingering or lollygagging at Costco. It’s just a Walmart with bigger baskets and people shopping like a storm is coming. Color me judgemental but if your household needs 100 rolls of toilet paper you may want to take a closer look at your diet.

There were no quiet corners to sample the chicken salad. I’m convinced if I’d paused beside a pile of rotting armadillo carcasses someone else would have needed to reach around me to grab a couple of dozen at the exact same time. I left Costco wound up even tighter than when I entered the store and certainly not ready to go home.

After dawdling over a ceviche salad so long the waitress started giving me the stink eye I decided to take the back roads home. I hadn’t traveled this direction in years.

The redneck bar where everyone congregated at the end of the work day was still in business. The honky-tonk up the road had closed but the VFW still stood around the corner for the hardcore drinkers.

I worked weekends at this VFW a million years ago. It was an old fashioned joint that didn’t expect me to flip cocktail shakers or line dance on the bar. Back then there was one small TV with a 13 inch screen mounted over the row of perpetually dusty liquor bottles. The patrons either stared at Nascar or talked to each other.

I always kept a notepad behind the bar to keep track of drinks served so I knew when someone needed to slow down. Being an amateur writer I also recorded things that made me laugh, blush or otherwise rendered me speechless. As the bar manager warned the day he hired me, “You just can’t give people liquor and expect them to act like they’re in church.” He was right.

Despite the work history, though, I just don’t go to bars very often and never alone. Sure, there was that recent Tequila-thon in Memphis but that is a whole different atmosphere. To get a drink down there you don’t have to stop and ‘go in’. You just have to ‘stop’ for a minute on Beale Street and someone will put liquor in your hand.

But still not ready to go home and face the dog, I forced myself to casually saunter in and climb up on a barstool that allowed me to keep my back to a wall. I tossed back a shot of tequila and sipped a beer. When my vision adjusted to the darkness I recognized a couple of folks but not with any particular fondness so they were probably bad tippers.

Physically, very little had changed. The bar had been expanded and there were more televisions mounted but it smelled the same as I think it’s the last bar in ten counties that still allows indoor smoking.

However, the mood was different. Folks had their heads down looking at their phones. I’m convinced ‘Cheers’ wouldn’t have lasted beyond the pilot if mobile phones had existed back then. They even had wifi.

I wondered if anyone else was hiding out in a bar to avoid going home to their dog. I considered ordering another shot when the concept of mindful drinking occurred to me. I began scribbling little notes on my cocktail napkin about the trigger that was tempting me to drink more. If I was thirsty, get water. Did I want to be drunk? Was I that afraid of the dog? Was it just an excuse to abuse myself in ways that I’m not presently doing with food?

I wouldn’t sit in a restaurant and order another steak while still chewing on the first. Why was I contemplating another drink so quickly?

So I slowed down, nursed a beer and tried to eavesdrop for writing material but talk was minimal. Mobile phones have replaced live conversations and I guess those apps that allow you to swipe for dates have eliminated the clever pick-up lines. I imagine the jokes that begin ‘A priest, a barber and a duck walked into a bar’ will soon die off as well.

Eventually I had to go home. My home. Now I want to read the book. Maybe Thomas Wolfe had a dog too.

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1758 kcal

지방: 135.39g | 단백질: 116.61g | 탄수화물: 17.78g.   아침 식사: Premier Nutrition Clear Protein Drink, Kraft 2% Mozzarella String Cheese, Great Value Half & Half, Coffee, Great Value Half & Half, Coffee. 저녁 식사: Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Wal-Mart Ribeye Steak. 간식/기타: Sargento Natural Swiss Cheese, Great Value Deli Sliced Oven Roasted Turkey Breast, Sargento Smokehouse Cheddar, Smucker's Sugar Free Strawberry Preserves, Mt. Olive Pepperoncini, Dairy Fresh 4% Cottage Cheese Large Curd. 더보기

2269 kcal

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