Newsflash - this just in. Batteries went dead on scale and I am going blind in the dark today . To make matters worse, I was sitting at the dinner table and I got attacked by 2 pieces of red velvet cake. I put up a bloody battle but I was pinned down and was no match for them.
They told me not to worry and that it would be painless. They said your scale wasn't working anyway.. I wiped the icing and cake off of my face and was totally disgusted and screamed no . I felt totally violated .
There is a picture of the suspect with this posting. Please call 555 HELPME if you see the suspect . Please stay clear of this suspect because it is armed and dangerous and hazardous to your health. It goes by the alias makebigstomach . Known accomplices look similar and should also be avoided st any and all cost.
