I wish I could help you man! I've always watched your journals. Tracking what you eat is crucial. Maybe you're doing it at home or somewhere else. But according to the site you haven't tracked what you've eaten consistently hardly at all. If we keep an eye on what we're eating and how much of it. Then you can really chase successful weight loss longterm. Guessing and wondering will always have you fluctuating up and down. More importantly than that is changing your relationship with food. We have to use it MOSTLY as fuel. Have a little of the not so good stuff here and there. But more of the healthier choices regularly. You can do this but you have to change something. We know repeating the same steps, expecting a different outcome... is the definition of insanity.