I think we would all like it off now. There is nothing wrong with you. We have all been there. I came to the conclusion one day that I will spend the rest of life watching what I eat and exercising. There is no other way. Look on amazon.com for reviews of a book called "Becks Diet Solution". It helps you change the way you think about food and your behaviors (or see if your local library has it). It might help you with certain aspects of weight loss. Find ways of motivating yourself. Go on pinterest.com and type in "fitness motivation or inspiration". They have great quotes, recipes, pics, etc. Get some fitness magazines. I saw something about making a weight loss binder. You put pictures, recipes, track your food etc. Take some exercise classes. Something you have always wanted to try. Get out of your comfort zone. Try yoga for a month, do a couch to 5k, bootcamp, etc. Take control of your health. Once you take control, you won't feel so desperate. You start feeling confident. It's going to take time and patience. You CAN do this!