Annisworkingonit님의 저널, 2024년 06월 23일

Good morning FS friends

Yesterday was a good day. Got a decent nights sleep thanks to a prescription from my GP. Woke up at the crack of dawn to see the Mighty Niagara River covered in a mist. She was beautiful. Round about 7AM scads of cyclists started passing by. Turns out it was the cross border endurance route for the Roswell Park Ride for Cancer (oh the irony).

Given how hot and sunny the day became, the river was active with jet skiers, boats, fishermen and even the odd cigar boat. Needless to say, once the bike ride was over the Parkway was fully opened and the usual summer happenings began. Lots of motorcycle clubs going by 20-30 riders at a time. (some sorrow with this one as John realised a lifelong dream last year, got his motorcycle license and had started to ride his Harley Road King albeit cautiously). The classic cars, some real beauties. Just watching the usual goings on would have brought pleasure to John. We used to call it Parkway TV.

By mid afternoon, things seemed too quiet in the house. Where normally I'd go outside and garden, it was simply too hot to do this safely. The dogs are confused and a wee bit lost as dad (their treat dispenser) isn't here and mom is a bit "off". I decided that I'd package some of John's ashes before his family removes them and went on a memorial journey of my own. First went to Timmies in Fort Erie, got a medium Iced Capp (John's favourite during the summer) and 300 empty but needed calories for me. Then proceeded to stop at each place we had fished, swam or launched our boat and leave a bit of him at each one until I got home. Today I will continue on with the mission from my house to the other spots along the way, all the way to Port Dalhousie. In the weeks to come, I'll go to Port Colbourne at the mouth of the canal and do the same. It feels right as this was our couple thing and something his sons never participated in. Is it closure? No. But it helps and he would appreciate it in absentia. Other memorials planned by his family, employer and the Masons are appropriate and deserved but less meaningful to me regarding our life and time together.

By evening, the lawn needed mowing, so I did. Finally ate a leftover burger from when the boys were here last week. Didn't finish it, but it's a start.

One week down. Several personal grieving milestones met. Many more to go, but one day/week/year at a time. There is no timeline but having walked this awful path before, there will be light at the end of the tunnel and someday joy may reenter the equation.

Over and out

다이어트 캘린더 보기, 2024년 06월 23일:
1035 kcal 지방: 30.85g | 단백질: 66.45g | 탄수화물: 137.15g.   아침 식사: Orgain Organic Protein Plant Based Protein Powder Creamy Chocolate Fudge, GNC Wheybolic Classic Vanilla. 점심 식사: Gatorade G2 Perform 02 - Grape (20 oz), Strawberries. 저녁 식사: Renee's Gourmet Mighty Caesar Dressing, Cooked Asparagus (from Fresh), Everything Veggie Salad, Cub Foods Hamburger Buns, Ground Beef (80% Lean / 20% Fat, Patty, Cooked, Pan-Broiled). 간식/기타: Pummelo. 더보기

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You are coping well. I'm very proud of you. Love how you spread John's ashes. Hugs and prayers sent for you.  
2024년 06월 23일 작성이: -MorticiaAddams
Big hugs hun through this difficult time. You are a very strong woman 🥰❤🥰 
2024년 06월 23일 작성이: •°•♡Erin♡•°•
Ann, your memorial journey is a wonderful way to honour your memories with John!! Hopefully, one day, those memories will make you smile. It is a privilege to share the journey with you as you write about them for us. ♥ ♡ ~ Hugs ~ ♡ ♥ 
2024년 06월 23일 작성이: -Nadja-
Anni i appreciate the grief and love you are showing thru your journal. Today is the day we go to spread the other half of the ashes of my MIL and FIL. She wanted them commingled and released in the river they enjoyed so much when they were young. The other half of the ashes re in a military cemetery with a send off complete with 21 gun salute. My moms ashes are still with me. She didnt care what happened to them and my child isn’t ready to let go so here they are. I think it would be better if they were free somewhere. God bless you anni just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Xoxo 
2024년 06월 23일 작성이: Yearofhealth2023
Thinking of you! John is absolutely smiling at your journey of honouring him. You are a beautiful person! 
2024년 06월 24일 작성이: Shelo12

     
 

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