Its Sunday.
Yesterday, I decided enough was enough. I was f***king hungry. I wanted some REAL food. I wanted something that I would enjoy! I had the frozen yogurt. During the first two bites, I was thinking to myself, "Oh god, this is so good... but I know myself, and when this is gone, I am going to go in search for more. Better, fattier, sweeter, "more-forbidden" foods! Shit, shit shit!"
I took Dawn's advice (as well as many of my other buddys' advice) and just savored every little bite. I paused and asked myself what was so great about it. The coconut was divine. The banana- perfectly ripe, but not mushy. The pineapple was tangy but sweet. The yogurt was cold and creamy.
I finished, and surprisingly I was satisfied. It took a lot of positive self talk to convince myself that I wasnt "bad" or that I should not feel guilty.
I am done feeling guilty. I am done beating myself up. That is what causes me to binge. From now on, I am not allowing myself to feel guilty. I'm just going to say "forget it," and move on. Thats what I used to do.
I took note that before I started recording my food on FS, before I started counting calories, I felt no guilt whatsoever for anything that I ate. Before, I was always shameless and resilient. I never craved sweets because I was satisfied with the healthy foods I was eating.
I know what I need to do. Its just a matter of re-learning how to do it now. I did it in the past, and thats how I lost so much weight in 2007 and 2008.
I did over eat last night, but it was very mindless eating while I was watching House. lol I stopped when I realized I was feeling sick. I need to pay more attention to the reasons why I am eating, and what my body is telling me. I especially need to practice intuitive eating.
Okay, I sound like a broken record. Uggghhh. Why cant I just do this? I guess its harder than it seems.
다이어트 캘린더 보기, 2009년 05월 3일:
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391 kcal
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지방: 13.73g | 단백질: 23.21g | 탄수화물: 48.20g.
아침 식사: almond butter, max protein, kashi hot cereal. 간식/기타: crackers. 더보기
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