Good evening or very early morning, everybody! As you may know, I went to my doctor's appt yesterday. I thought that it went pretty well. My blood pressure was a little high (149/??), 291 pounds with a BMI of 51.56 (Side Note: I am also on my period. I could weigh less). Yes, I certainly have some work to do. I started my journey at 327 pounds (Maybe even higher). The nurse seemed pleased with my drop. I remembered to bring my blood pressure monitor from home. I wanted to show the doctor that I have been watching and storing my readings during the pandemic. The nurse sent me out to the waiting room and then the doctor called my name. She asked me how I was doing, discussed what was going on with my health, etc. I felt that she was initially a little judgmental by the way she addressed my slight weight loss from the time I last saw her to now. I believe that I was 304-305 when I last saw her pre-Covid taking off. I was honest with her. I told her, "I admit that I went a little out of control at the start of this pandemic. I was able to get it under control about 2-3 months ago and jumped back on the wagon." I ordered food delivery most nights. "What have you been doing since I last saw you? What are you doing for exercise? You really need to lose weight to get your conditions under control," she told me. I replied, "I know that." I really do. Am I ignorant to that fact? Does she see me as a lazy sloth? Maybe I was for some time. I continued, "My gym has been closed for the past few months. I decided to start walking around my neighborhood several times a week. I have also been running up and down the steps in my apartment building. My gym is currently open, and I am there 3-4 times per week right now."
The doctor realized right then that I lost 36+ pounds since January. Suddenly, she was absolutely excited over the cumulative amount. She exclaimed, "I am so proud of you! I know that it's hard!" I told her, "I can't wait to be 200 or less again!" She replied, "Just take your time. One day at a time. It's going to take some time. It's extremely hard." Yup, no shit. Why did she sound so judgmental when she was looking at the loss between the time that I saw her until now and all of a sudden was incredibly happy and astounded when she counted the total since January?! This is why people avoid going to the doctor! I don't think they realize how they come across sometimes. It can be defeating when you feel like you are so far gone but trying to grab hold of what you can be. I know that they mean well, of course. They are only being honest. I just feel like there is a lot of doctor-patient discrimination against overweight and obese women across the board. Maybe I am sensitive - I've always been and I've always taken things to heart even though I don't admit this most of the time (I am getting better at expressing myself. I am gaining that confidence as I age). I am much better now than what I was. I don't take things to heart much anymore. I am progressing on being objective when it comes to this matter and asserting honesty within myself. I KNOW that the doctor is only being honest and trying to help. I am happy that she finished the session by recognizing my hard work.
You know, maybe I could have lost more. The fact is that I lost though. I didn't GAIN especially during the damn pandemic when people are losing or gaining. I had some setbacks like my pizza delivery nights, true. I am still -36 pounds. I still have a very long way to go. My doctor wants to see me in 2 months. She also ordered bloodwork which I had taken on site. Has anybody ever had experiences like this? It can be rough but try to roll it off your back and keep on moving! Keep plowing forward, everybody, no matter what anybody says or thinks!!!! :) Rise above!
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