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Okay, so I skipped out on a meeting last week. I went home the weekend before St. Patty's day and drank and ate A LOT! I basically threw all cares to the wind. I made a tracker that would put me at my goal weight by the end of August, however I believe that has been pushed back until September. No worries, though. I got back into the swing of things this week. I went to work out last night (something I haven't done in about a week) and have been keeping track of my points again.
In all honesty, I have to admit that the reason that I skipped last weeks meeting and weigh in is because I knew that I would have gained. I am truly a visual learner and a perfectionist at heart and this website and its weight history diagrams and all of the loving support that others give freely are the main factors in what has been pushing me to keep going and to keep pushing myself. If I had weighed in last week I could not have bared to see my chart go up. It may be cheating and it may be inaccurate, but I didn't want to lose motivation.
As I write this journal, I realize that it is at this point, it is when I gain that I start to lose confidence. I begin to think I am failing myself. It has been a trend, the last two times that I attempted wieght watchers I quit the moment I gained. It is all or nothing for me....and that is not good. How do I change this type of mentality? I know that somewhere under all of my complicated psychological layers there is a strong woman waiting to break out. How do I let her out?
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